Medical Slang Acronyms

Alphabetical Listing of Medical Slang Acronyms

• HMF — Hysterical Mother Figure
• HOP — House of Pain (nursing Home)
• HOPEFUL — Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals)
• HSPL — High Serum Porcelain Level – Patient Is A Crock of Sh*t
• HST — High Slug Titre – Lazy Patient (slug) That Won’t Get Out of Bed
• HTD — Higher Than A Duck
• HTK — Higher Than A Kite
• HVLT — High Velocity Lead Poisoning: Gunshot Wound
• IFOI — I Fell On It – (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum
• IHC — Improving His Claim – Victim of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment But Wants Something To Support His Insurance/legal Claim.
• IOTC — Icing On The Cake – Lethal Tumor Discovered In The X-rays of A Heart Attack Victim.
• IP — Insurance Pain – Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump
• ISQ — “In Status Quo (“”no Change””): Often Used During The Weekend Surgical Round”
• ITBNTL — In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying)
• IW — Insurance Whiplash – Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump
• IWB — Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers)
• JAFFA — Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le
• JAR — JAR Syndrome: Just Ain’t Right (often Used When A Patient Has Multiple Issues)
• JDFR — Just Doesn’t Feel Right – Most Common Complaint of LOL’s (Little Old Ladies) And SOG’s (Sick Old Guys)
• JDLR — Just Doesn’t Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet)
• JIC — Jesus Is Calling
• JLD — Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK)
• JNR — Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet)
• JPFROG — Just Plain F***ing Ran Out of Gas (old Age, Etc)
• JPS — Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack of Common Sense)
• KAGC — Knife And Gun Club – (US) Local Street Gangs Or Criminal Organizations That Keep ER In Business OR The Emergency Departments That Care For Patients With The Results of Street Gang Violence
• KFO — Knock The F*cker Out (patient Either Obnoxious Or Screaming In Pain)
• KOKO — Keep On Keeping On.
• KSS — Kidney Stone Squirm – A Spot Diagnosis In A&E
• LDF — Lying Down Fit
• LFTWM — Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse)
• LGFD — Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined)
• LGFTC — Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined)
• LMC — Low Marble Count (low IQ)
• LOBNH — Lights On But Nobody Home
• LOFD — Looks Okay From Door
• LOL — Little Old Lady
• LOLFDGB — Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom
• LOLINAD — Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress
• LOLITS — (US) Little Old Lady In Tennis Shoes (60+ Years-old); (UK) Little Old Lady In Twin-Set (50-60+ Years-old)
• LPT — Low Pain Threshold
• LRO — Luck Ran Out (cheated Death Before, But Not This Time)
• LT — Lantern Test – Shine A Torch In The Subject’s Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain)
• LWS — (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No Medical Insurance Or Money)
• MAFAT — Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision
• MARPS — Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals
• MCBP — Member of The College of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see
• MFB — Measure For Box (coffin)
• MFC — Measure For Coffin
• MFD — Measure For Dispatch (coffin), (severely Ill Or Dying)
• MGM — MGM Syndrome (as In The Movie Maker) – Faker Putting On A Real Good Show
• MICO — Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation
• MICOS — Masterly Inactivity, Cat-like Observation And Steroids
• MIDI — Myocardial Infarction During Intercourse (heart Attack During Sex)
• MILF — Mother I’d Like To F**k. US Version of GLM Who Is Also PHAT
• MTF — Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave)
• MU PAIN — Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims)
• MUH — Messed Up Heart
• NAD — Not Actually Done
• NARS — Not A Rocket Scientist (low IQ)
• NETMA — Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything (generally A Doctor’s Gripe On A Patient’s Chart)
• NFR — Not For Resuscitation; Used On Elderly Patients’ Charts Where The DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Instruction Is Without The Knowledge of The Patient Themselves Or Their Family
• NFS — Neuro-faecal Syndrome – Sh*t For Brains
• NGMI — Not Going To Make It
• NKDA — Not Known, Didn’t Ask
• NLPR — No Longer Playing Records (dying)
• NPS — New Parent Syndrome
• NQR — Not Quite Right
• NQRITH — Not Quite Right In The Head
• NSA — Non-Standard Appearance (what A FLK Grows Into)
• NWB — Negative Wallet Biopsy – (US) Patient Transferred To Cheaper Hospital Because They Have No Insurance / Funds
• OAP — Over-Anxious Patient
• OBE — Open Both Ends (known In UK As DNV – Diarrhoea And Vomiting)
• OBS — Obvious Bullsh*t
• OFIG — One Foot In The Grave
• OFIGATOOS — One Foot In The Grave And The Other One Slipping
• OMGWTFBBQ — Oh My God, What The F*ck, Bar-be-que; A Person Mangled In A Car Crash
• OPD — Obnoxious Personality Disorder
• OTD&DDR — Out The Door And Down The Road.
• OTDPDS — Out The Door Pretty Damn Soon
• OTLP — On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home)
• P4P — Penicillin For Prick (peniecille For Penile Discharge)
• PAAF — Pissed As A Fart (also PIAF -PIssed As A Fart)
• PAFO — Pissed [Drunk] And Fell Over
• PBAB — Pine Box At Bedside
• PBABLTO — Pine Box At Bedside, Leave Top Off
• PBLS — Positive Blue Legs Sign – (US) Resuscitation Behind Closed Curtains (US ER Medics Wear Blue Scrubs)
• PBOO — Pine Box On Order
• PBS — Pretty Bad Shape
• PBTB — Pine Box To Bedside; Indicates An Imminent Demise
• PCUINIA — Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise – I.e. Please Never Page Me Again
• PDSD — Pre-Detention Stress Disorder – A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him
• PEFYC — Pre Extricated For Your Convenience (RTA Victim That Has Gone Through Windscreen)
• PEP — Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality – Stoned Or Medicated
• PFH — Parent(s) From Hell (custodians of BFH – Brat From Hell)
• PFO — Pissed (Drunk) And Fell Over
• PGT — Pissed (Drunk) And Got Thumped
• PHAT — Pretty Hot And Tempting (warning To Others)
• PHS — Positive Hilton Sign – Demanding Patient Expects Hilton Hotel Luxury; Indicates Patient Well Enough To Leave!
• PIA — Pain In The Ass