Children’s Jokes

Say Thanks To GOD

A Construction Supervisor from 16th Floor of a Building was calling a Worker on Ground Floor.

Because of noise the Worker did not hear his Call.

To draw Attention, the Supervisor threw a 10 Rupee Note in Front of Worker.

He picked up the Note, put it in His Pocket & Continued to Work.

Again to Draw Attention the Supervisor threw 500 Rupee Note & the Worker did the same,

Now the Supervisor picked a small Stone & threw on the Worker.

The Stone hit the Worker.

This time the Worker looked Up & the Supervisor Communicated with Him.
.
.
This Story is same as to our ‘LIFE’…

God from Up, wants to Communicate with Us, but We are Busy doing our Worldly Jobs.

Then, he give Us Small Gifts & Big Gifts…
We just keep them without looking from Where We Got it.
We are the Same. Just keeping the gifts without Thanking him, We just say – We are LUCKY.

And when we are Hit with a Small Stone, which We call PROBLEMS, then only We look Up & Communicate with him. That’s why it is said…
He gives, gives n forgives
N
We get, get n forget…

Bald Gandhi

Child: Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head…?

Mummy: Because he speak only truth…

Child: Now I understood why ladies have long hair…

White Hair

KID: Why some of ur hair are white dad…?

DAD: Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID: Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral: Don’t be over smart…

God is watching

In a Nursery School Canteen…

There’s a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-

“Do not take more than one, God is watching”

On the other counter there’s a box of chocolates, A small child went & wrote on it.

“Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples”…

Children’s Joke 1

A for apple

B for bada apple

C for chota apple

Children’s Joke 2

Question: In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
Answer: His last battle!

Question: Where was the declaration of independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom of the page!

Question: What’s the main reason for Divorce?
Answer: Marriage!

Question: river Ganges flows in which state?
Answer: Liquid state!

Question: When was Mahatma Gandhi born?
Answer: On his birthday!

Question: How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
Answer: By preparing mango shake….

Children’s Joke 3

Pissing In Pool

Hereafter your son should not come to my house for swimming…

But why…?

He pees into the swimming pool!

Come on.. please do not be so harsh – many children do so.

Yes, many children do so – but not from the diving board!

Children’s Joke 4

Did you hear about the snail who couldn’t tell the truth?

He was an invertebrate liar.

Children’s Joke 5

Waiter – Waiter I’m in a hurry will my pizza be long ?

No Sir – it will be round.

Children’s Joke 6

The aeroplane was so old that it has an outside toilet in it.

Children’s Joke 7

Wedding and kids

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”

Children’s Joke 8

Telephone Call

A traveler decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”.

The traveler, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The traveler thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. “O.K., thank you,” said the traveler.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Russia, Germany and France. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call” sign under it.

The traveler, upon leaving decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in Kerala, the southern state in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “One Rupee per call.”

The traveler was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. “Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the countries I have visited the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?” The priest smiled and answered,

“Son, you’re in God’s own country now, it’s a local call”

Children’s Joke 9

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den… He is supposed to count upto 100… and then start searching…

Everyone starts hiding except Newton…

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein’s counting 1,2,3…… 97, 98, 99….. 100… ….. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front…

Einstein says “newton’s out..newton’s out…”

Newton denies and says “I am not out.. I am not Newton…”

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not
Newton.

Newton says “I am standing in a square of area 1m squared…..

That makes me Newton per meter squared…. since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I’m Pascal,

Therefore Pascal is OUT…….!

Children’s Joke 10

Mother: Now, Dhruv, when you go for dinner at Parth’s house, use your knife and fork properly.

Dhruv: Mummy, is it necessary that I use a knife and fork?

Mother: Of course you must!

Dhruv: But the soup will never stay on them!