Teenage Jokes

4to40.com February 22, 2017 Jokes For Kids 7,846 Views

Teenage Joke 91

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says… Drink quickly……
Wife asks why…
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Teenage Joke 92

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are you laughing?
Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

Teenage Joke 93

Santa with his 18 friends went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group,
they replied that the film was only for above 18…

Teenage Joke 94

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.

Teenage Joke 95

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”

Teenage Joke 96

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: “How will you divide, you have 3 children?”
Santa: “Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR.”

Teenage Joke 97

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?
Banta: Me too, after you leave.

Teenage Joke 98

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
“Hallo, Mr. Hussein!” a heavily accented voice said, “This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!”
“Well, Gurmukh,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news!
How big is your army”
“Right now,” said Gurmukh, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight”
Saddam paused. “I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Arrey O! Main kya.. ” Said Gurmukh. “I’ll have to ring you back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.
“Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I’m calling from Phagwara STD, and the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh” Saddam asked.
“Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik’s tractor.”
Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.”
“Oh teri ….” said Gurmukh. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
“Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne…… We’ve modified Amrik’s tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind’s generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!”
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Tera pala hove….” said Gurmuk, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.
“Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart.”
“Well,” said Gurmukh, “we’ve all had a long chat over a couple of lassi’s, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!”