Teenage Jokes

Teenage Joke 111

Paani mein Whiskey milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Teenage Joke 112

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.

Teenage Joke 113

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

Teenage Joke 114

FOOL se, FOOL ne,
FOOLon ki FOOLwari me
FOOL ke sath wish kiya’
You are the most beautiFOOL,
colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS.

Teenage Joke 115

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

Teenage Joke 116

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?

Teenage Joke 117

Manmohan Singh to Bush – We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush – Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh – 100
25 – OBC
25 – SC
20 – ST
5 – Handicapped
5 – Sports Persons
5 – Terrorist Affected
5 – Kashmiri Migrants
9 – Politicians
and if possible
1 – Astronnaut (General)

Teenage Joke 118

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way.” I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?

Teenage Joke 119

To Traffic Police
“I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.”

Teenage Joke 120

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.

“They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.