Teenage Jokes

Teenage Joke 11

I recently asked my neighbors’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her,

‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? ‘

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed with pride.

‘Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that!

You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50.

Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. ‘

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked,
‘
Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? ‘

I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

Teenage Joke 12

Today’s generation: Six year old boy to a four year old boy: Dude, I found a Condom in the balcony.
Four year old boy: What’s a balcony?

Teenage Joke 13

The saddest part of a Man’s body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced Them to : Hang Till Death!

Teenage Joke 14

Doctor: Your knees all blistered?

Lady: Coz of doggy style!

Doctor: Cant u do it any other style?

Lady: Oh, I can, but the dog can’t!

Teenage Joke 15

Three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands Shook.

The first geezer said, “My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!”

The second old fogey one-upped him. “My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!”

The third old man laughed and said, “That’s nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times.”

Teenage Joke 16

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window..

Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!

Husband: Twice? Why didn’t you call me in after he screwed you once?

Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

Teenage Joke 17

What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
Stay out of BED for two days.

Teenage Joke 18

What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damm Woman trying to do a Man’s job!

Teenage Joke 19

Prostitute: Hi, want to have sex?

Santa: Ok. Only if you do it like my wife does.

Prostitute: I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?

Santa: She does it for free.

Teenage Joke 20

A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.
Next day a headline reads: Team to play without Dicks.
The manager calls up the newspaper and objects, so the editor changes the Headline.
It reads: Team to play with Dicks out.