Teenage Jokes

Teenage Joke 41

TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?

CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?

TECH: We’re an Internet service provider, ma’am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.

CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?

TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.

CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?

TECH: I’m not sure I understand?

CUSTOMER: You know…Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?

Teenage Joke 42

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Ben’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Ben volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. “You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

Ben said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”

Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:

“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Allison, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”

Teenage Joke 43

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Teenage Joke 44

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,…
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Teenage Joke 45

A young boy asks his Dad:
“What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says:
“You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my
son, THAT is confidential.

Teenage Joke 46

Grammar Teacher:
Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid:
Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

Teenage Joke 47

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, “send me a brother”

Santa wrote back,
” SEND ME YOUR MOTHER”

Teenage Joke 48

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says: “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”…

Teenage Joke 49

James bond was sitting at a bar when a pretty blonde sat next to him, James looked at his watch, looked back at the girl then looked back his watch.

The girl said “whats wrong, is your date late”

James said “No, I have just got a new watch which tells me about the girl sitting next to me”
The girl said “so what does it tell you about me?” James replied “it says your not wearing any underwear”
The girl said “Well I am”
James said “Sorry Love – this must be a hour fast”

Teenage Joke 50

a good lecture should be like a girl’s mini skirt…
long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest!!!!