When your child behaves badly, particularly in public or in front of other people, you may get a mental picture of what kind of grown-up he will be, and it’s not a pretty picture. If your little angel is throwing a temper tantrum because another child won’t play the way he wants them to, does that mean he’s going to …

In encounters with children, it is wise to be on the alert to catch the signals of interest, resistance, or fear they send out. In the situation with Rita when I had been sensitive to her needs, I noticed the subtle message that accompanied her crying. When her brother and sister were standing outside the door of her room, she …

Emotionally, children are easily threatened by anyone bigger, older, or more confident than they are. Not yet possessing the well-developed defenses adults usually have, children’s sense of self is still fragile, vulnerable, and easily knocked down. For example, children often don’t understand the significant difference chronological age can make in their performance. Younger children may feel stupid because their older …

Whenever children feel threatened, instead of making them come to you, meet them at their safe place, and together from there move to new places. Remember, a path is usually neutral territory. Walking to a new place together provides a gentle way of being together, allowing to grow accustomed to each other. When I was about to begin tutoring a …

When I agree to be available to a child, I try to remember to present myself in such a way that the child knows I choose to be available specifically to him or her for this period of time. For me, when one of my daughters comes to be with me, this may mean hanging up the telephone, turning off …

Often the test of your concern comes in the form of behavior children know would be socially unacceptable. So be ready for it, except it, and recognize it as a situation with growth potential when it happens. It is important for children to know you would not reject them for their words or actions, and that your primary concern is …

– Just when all of your kids have moved out and you and your spouse are still in your ‘honeymoon’ period enjoying privacy that had been sacrificed for years, one of your adult children rebound back to home for some reason such as financial problem or an emotional struggle, where they need a refuge and their parents for love and …

A primary need low self-esteemers have is to feel their own sense of self. Once they begin to like themselves, then interest in academics, relationships, and other social skills will follow. As a tutor, the first stage of my work with children was not to teach reading or spelling, but to focus on liking. I tried to invite them to …

When relating to children, be open and be unapologetically your self as much as possible. This does not mean you must violate your to privacy and reveal everything you feel and do. No. Being real with children means there is no need to wear a mask. Any pretense or lack of honesty with them is usually quickly perceived. Once dishonesty …

Even though asking questions is a very powerful way of building relationship with children, low self-esteem children often feel very threatened by direct questions, especially about their self-image and feelings. When preparing for an encounter with a child, ask yourself: “What will we talk about?” When you select a few topics, formulate some of the questions you might like to …