When Children Start Lying

It’s always a surprise for any parent to suddenly realize that their child has been lying to them. Reactions vary from anger, disbelief and sorrow to be wilderment. Actually, it is best to deal with it undue importance or ignoring it completely.

• All children, when young, cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. For them everything is real. It is up to us to make them understand the difference between harmless fantasizing and actual lying.

• From the very beginning we need to plant the seeds of right values in our children. We need to make them understand the difference between right and wrong, between what is acceptable and what is not.

• Sometimes children lie when they want attention. A child may lie about feeling ill, if she feels that this is the surest way of getting the parents’ attention. This should be seen as an indication that the child is feeling neglected and in fact needs more attention than the parents are giving her.

• Children may lie in order to show off or to appear better, richer, stronger than others. This actually has roots in the child’s lack of self-confidence. He may feel insecure about what he is and may lie to appear better. It is up to the parents to imbue the child with a strong self-esteem so that he does not need to lie.

• Children can also lie if they feel this is the easiest way out of a difficult situation. This is where the child’s early training comes into use. If the sense of right and wrong has been strongly imbued into the child, he will have the strength to face a difficult situation without resorting to lying.

• But by far the most common reason for children not telling the truth is their fear of parents. They may fear not coming up to your expectations. They may fear disappointing you. They may really dead your anger or harsh words. To avoid all this they may lie.

• Surprisingly, lying is also something which children learn from their parents. The father may ask the child to tell a caller that he is not at home. The mother may ask the child to not tell something to Papa. And in this way the child may get the idea that it is alright to lie.

• So when we realize that out child is lying, we need to ask our self the reason why she is doing so. We need to understand that before we correct the child, perhaps we need to correct our own selves.

Let our relationship with our child be such that he feels so confident and assured of our love, that he is able to tell us anything without talking recourse to untruths.